Posted in Home education

When it all falls apart

So you had a great routine going, you were feeling confident, your children were making good progress… that is until some sort of life event came along to make it all fall appart. It could be pregnancy, illness, a new baby, a family member that needs support… whatever it was, it slowly but surely ground your entire routine to a halt! So what to do now? Give up? Absolutely not! This blog will show you that home education can fit around your life, no matter what إن شاء الله

Photo by William Fortunato on Pexels.com

Full disclosure, my home education routine has ground to a halt many times over the years, and I have often felt like giving up entirely. I am currently suffering from terrible sleep deprivation as my fifth child is struggling to sleep at night. Sleep deprivation can often lead to low mood and low mood can make a home educating mother doubt her ability and will to continue doing ”school at home”. By Allah’s will, I have overcome these struggles and feelings several times by now, which gives me perspective and allows me to see this current struggle as only a small part of our journey as a family. Things will get better إن شاء الله

When I find myself struggling to stick to our usual rythm, I start by just re-evaluating which parts of our rythm are non-negotiable. This will very likely be different for each family but, for us, those things are:

  • Prayer: without a connection to my Lord, how am I meant to navigate these turbulent times?! Plus, while I pray, my children watch and learn إن شاء الله
  • Quran: if you aren’t able to read the Quran from the mushaf, start daily lessons even if they are just five minutes a day. Once you can read with tajweed, work on memorising some small surahs. By the time you achieve all that, your child will have watched you and picked up so much that you can start teaching them! Quran memorisation is the favourite part of my day now but, 9 years ago, I had a newborn and couldn’t even read!
  • Meals: in our family, if the meals aren’t cooked, the mood is going to struggle! I use the portion of my day during which I have the most energy to focus on my most important chores. In the morning, I get minimal cleaning done and cook *one* meal to last us for the rest of the day.
  • Read alouds: this has been my secret weapon for the past almost 9 years now! Reading good books is a source or great education in language, science, religion…there are even fun Usborne lift the flap books to teach your children maths! The more they enjoy you reading to them, the more they will be motivated to learn to read too.

That last point leads me to my next: focus on connection. Give your children as much of your time as you can. Read to them, let them sleep with you, cuddle in bed, play board games, watch beneficial content together and discuss it, pick up a craft and practice it together. Whatever helps you connect. Notice that a lot of the examples I am giving you can literally be achieved even if you are stuck on the couch or unable to leave the house!

Photo by William Fortunato on Pexels.com

When your children feel that they are getting lots of love and attention from you, they are also more likely to be able to play independently. Just make sure you have some open ended toys, books and crafts available. What you choose to make available to them will depend on their age but make sure they can take it out and clean it up on their own. One of the mottos that really stuck with me from learning about the Montessori approach to education is

Play is the work of the child

I feel that this really helps parents to observe their children playing and to see how much learning is taking place! Role play can teach them all about various social interactions, pretending to buy and sell can be a great source of maths, fine motor skills are refined with play doh, lego and crafts… and all this gives the parent time to deal with their current struggle or just with the daily chores! If you would like to learn more about the value of play, I recommend the book Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen.

Another way to get more time to yourself is to encourage independence in our children. Gently teach them to get dressed, go to the bathroom, make a snack and eventually cook and do their laundry. This is something that, again, really stayed with me from when I studied Montessori education. I trained in the Montessori method through Rumi Montessori to learn all about why Montessori can be a very good approach for Muslim parents and how it can be used to teach your children all their school subjects. It was a life changing experience and very affordable when done online, but if this sounds like too much for you I would highly recommend the books by Simone Davies to get you started.

Finally, I would like to end this post by reminding you of the bigger picture. Many children around the world do not even attend school until they are 6 or even 7 years old. If you look up statistics on those countries, you will see that the children there are in no way behind on their education compared to the rest of the world. In fact, they are happier and often receive a more well rounded education! If you have young children, know that there is no rush, don’t let social media convince you that your two year old is going to fail at life if they don’t know their letters yet!

Ultimately, as Muslim parents, our goal for home education should be that our child achieves success in this world only as a means to achieve ultimate success in their next life. This life is but the blink of an eye! Jannah is forever and being an astronaut or a surgeon isn’t necessarily a way to get there! Focus on their connection with Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ and the rest will all fall into place إن شاء الله ♥️

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Author:

I am a Muslim home educating mother of four based in the UK. I created this blog to support mothers around me on their home education journey and I ask Allah to make it of benefit to as many people as possible.

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